Yes, broken. Mum's ankle this is.
Returning home on Sunday, Blythe and I settled into the typical 'lets mill about before going to bed'. Got the usual phone call from mum and then a few hours later she called again - telling us she wouldn't be coming home tonight because she'd hurt her ankle.
Well, Blythe answered the phone and was kind of annoyed with her, which was kind of bad I suppose in retrospect. Me being the quiet one just bunkered down and told her she should be kinder and more sympathetic to someone when they got hurt. And yes, nobody likes the person who says 'I told you so', but I do it anyway.
A trip to the hospital and several hours later it turns out the ankle mum believed to be sprained was actually badly broken, and what's more her leg was broken too. At this point I know what you're all thinking on how she did it; in the course of a few days it went to 'I vaulted over a wall' to 'I lowered myself carefully down from the fence'
So now I don't know what to think. But anyway, it's broken. After a few days in hospital including surgery she was deemed good enough on the crutches to come home. Now I'm looking after her. Honestly a job I don't mind doing, but at the same time I feel myself growing frustrated when people give me looks that let me know they think I can't cope. Can't drive, can't cook, can't do this, can't do that. Well screw you assholes. I'm coping just -fine-.
one thing that is guaranteed to get up my nose is when people think I'm incapable.
I don't mind toiling away unappreciated, I can cope with pretty much anything life throws. I'll find a way to cope. One thing I absolutely cannot stand is when people insult my intelligence and assume I can't do something. At least let me try first before you judge.
Sorry, this is turning into a rant, but really.
I was lain in bed last night feeling guilty because I'd been short with people. I know I'm selfish, lazy, greedy... and I was thinking - I suppose this makes me a bad person. Do people see me as a bad person? Do they 'put up with me' because I'm family/supposed friend?
Is this why I don't have that many friends?
I guess I'm just broken.
2 comments:
I hope your Mum gets better soon - those injuries sound pretty nasty.
And I'm sure you're doing okay, just keep hanging in there and being your brilliant self x
Well if you want my views on you then I'll tell you, and I won't tell you just what you need/want to hear, I'll tell you straight from the heart what I think of you. And I won't leave the bad bits out either.
Nat, I'm as greedy/lazy/selfish as you xD maybe its the way we were brought up (NO fault of dads) but if you think about it, mum is kind of selfish sometimes isn't she? So IDK maybe thats where its from, or maybe its just the way she is. I feel bad blaming people.
And sometimes I'm even greedier/lazier/selfish-er than you so don't feel bad about that xD they're human things. Humans ARE like that. :)
Generally I'm optimistic about the human race but LOL we are like that.
Apart from that, you can be a bit emotional sometimes and you are annoying when you get annoyed, but as long as your irritable nature can be justified then I don't get as annoyed about it. I think its good that you're mostly truthful, infact I think you say the truth when its necessary and well, I don't know... I can't think of a time when you've told me a blatant lie (and haven't rectified it with a 'just kidding' or in later years told me that it wasn't true... XD)
But you're always so supportive, even if you're crumbling inside yourself. I think sometimes, even if you KNOW you can come to people, you have trust issues. Even with me. And I think you should know that I trust you completely out of anyone - I trust you more than I trust my friends, mum, dad, heck I trust you more than I trust myself. I trust you to hold me back when I loose all self-control. You're like my other half. You complete me. We are two sides of the same coin. I support and advise you when you need/want it and vice versa. We're there for each other and I love it. I don't say these things because I have to; I say them because I think you should know, and perhaps someone should tell you that you're brilliant every single day because you ARE.
You don't realize how much you've grown up into a woman but you have, and its not just because of the years, its because of the experiences. I remember when you got out of highschool, and you were still a bit uncertain of yourself, but you were no longer a child, I think at that point you were an adolescent. But now, going through college and starting University, you've had to learn quickly how to stand on your own two feet completely and you've achieved it. You can never properly see it yourself so I think you need to have someone tell it to you, otherwise you could always doubt these things. But I'm telling you now. And you HAVE grown more mature (if you thought you were mature before, look at yourself now! Its amazing the change you've gone through!) I think its for the better as well.
I know I might not always help the way you are by being a snotty little brat (XD) but thats the truth isn't it?
I love the laughs we have, your sense of humour is just so ... its the jigsaw puzzle to complete the puzzle of the way we are together. Yeah, I'm getting teary writing this too. And you know why I'm getting so watery-eyed and nearly crying about it? Its because I'm so PROUD of you. You don't realize how fab you are because you probably don't get told it often enough, but if all the people that mattered to you told it you at least once every day, you could be even more amazing than you are. So somewhere, every day, or at least every week, I'm going to try and tell you that you're fantabulously awesome. Infact, I give you the special honour of being called FANTABULOUSLY SPONDIFEROUS. Thats pretty much the best thing I can say that you are :D you earned that and everything that you have.
Its so wonderful to see you so fulfilled in life, I see you've adopted a very "I don't care what people think" attitude. There's always going to be that self-doubt that you have but push it aside and underneath there, there is you. And you are a person who knows who they are, despite everything around them that might affect them in a negative way.
Let this go to your head in a good way.
And sod all those bastards who can't appreciate you for who you are. Even if that turns out to be me, I'm so sorry for all the times I've been a little brat to you, but all the time I've known that you were always the best a person can be. You can't be perfect, and thats why you have faults. But if people can get over those, then they'll see that you are amazing. <3
ILY SO MUCH and I'm SO proud of you. I hope everyone else that loves you is too. <3 You're better than the people who can't appreciate you. :3 Enjoy the good things in LIIIFE.
(Okay that got a bit corny towards the end but you know what I'm trying to say. XDD) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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