fdfghuigbd.... revision

Yup, it is that time of year again when I lock myself away in my room and force myself to do revision. Not going to have a repeat of last year, when I thought 'oh, it'll be ok - I'm a smart person, I don't need to do -that- much revision'

How wrong I was. How arrogant.

The thing is, I know I'm not stupid (even though many people secretly think this because of the way I act around them, and because they don't understand that my innocent, airheaded remarks are pure sarcasm.. perhaps I should cut that out), and I know I'm very hardworking when I want to be. The thing is finding the motivation to actually do some revision. I guess this year I'm frightening myself into doing it because of what happened last summer, and I really don't want to collect my results slip to find that I have ABCC. I want good grades, I think I'd cry if I got AAB, or even ABB, but conversely if I end up with ABC after all that hard work I don't think I could handle it. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't get the grades I want, and this is the first time ever I've found myself actually stressing over exams.

I've never been stressed, GCSE's, music exams... even AS levels I was complacent, I was worried and I did no revision (for GCSE's I glanced over my revision booklet minutes before a handful of exams...) but last night I felt really stressed when my revision time was interrupted because I got asked to go out next door for a drink. It would have only taken half an hour and that would have been a good break for me, but I just felt so flustered because I had this mantra of 'I must revise' in my head.

urrgh. I hate being stressed.