I'm worried this blog will just turn into my own personal ranty nej-space. So it's probably best to just skip this one; it won't contain anything constructive, it's just me on a hormone induced rant-fest.
So first off, I realised for myself why Phil Collins as a solo artist is rubbish. That might not be everybody's opinion, but it's my opinion. Why did every song he churn out (except perhaps, the soundtrack to Disney's Tarzan) some dreary, churned out dirge of bland crapola? (I realise that statement made no sense. Deal.) Like, mum put on one of his CD's in the car the other day, and my god, I sat through every single one waiting for it to end. None of it inspired me.
Next, I have zero faith in about 80% of my friends right now. Maybe I've been a terrible friend lately, but have they asked me how I am? Why is it always me putting my nose out for them, yet when I need them they're not there? Rach keeps on doing weird wtf stuff behind my back, and has made me out to be the enemy even though I've done nothing wrong - that's fast becoming the flavour of my life right now. Am I some kind of easy scapegoat or something?
Thirdly, I'm eating too much. My period won't start, I've had cramps for four days in a row now and I'm sick of feeling like a bloated whale. I've eaten five slices of toast, one and a half Jamaica ginger cakes, one and a bit roast chickens, three bowls of salad, half an arctic ice roll, several hand-fulls of cheerios, a bowl full of cinnamon grahams, god knows how many cups of tea, three milky bars ... in the space of two days. I'm still hungry. I'm in pain. I want to cry all the time. Mum invites me to go shopping with her for some company then yells at me because I don't know what I want to eat. Look at the above list - does that look like it's a very decisive kind of diet to you? The grahams came at half seven in the evening. The chicken was for breakfast. No dad, I'm not pregnant.
Forthly this is just a random hatred of the way people take out their anger on me. I'm not taking your crap just because you don't feel happy right now.
Fifthly, I got an email from Jonny but he can trav off to travland and become welsh and fall off the mountain and break his legs. It was a bunch of lame excuses as to how that status wasn't aimed at me (of course, how could it be, I'm so amazingly perfect to him!) - I picked it apart in five minutes. Everything he said in that email was a lie. Go figure. GTFO. He'll get a reply, eventually. Not right now.
Sixthly, I really hate how mum is such a compulsive liar. She said we were going to visit bapcia today, but this morning she said "you know, I really ought to get the car serviced. I don't want to drive all that way. I don't think it's safe." And whenever craig phones up she makes up some bollocks about how much housework she's done.
Bapcia phoned up today, asking what time we were supposed to be there for. I felt awful - I hope mum will too when she realised Blythe had the guts to tell Bapcia the truth about what happened. Why shouldn't we? It'll all fall on our heads I know but props to Blythe - at least she was honest.
Basically, nej stamp to the world.
In other news, I've been spending less time on the internet. Instead I've been reading my book, watching Greek, thinking about buying another book to read after I finish this one, taking random excursions out, seeing baby jackdaws and I've been colouring. Yes, the poster. I'm really enjoying that - thanks dad (: xxx
2 comments:
You're welcome (c:
A few pieces of advice from a passerby:
1) Before you react and start challenging any of your friends on their behaviour, take some time out and wait until you feel a lot more relaxed and at ease. When we’re overly emotional our judgement tends to me off and the chances are that you may well say things that you don’t actually mean and will soon regret saying.
2) Think very, very carefully before condemning and accusing your friends of anything, and especially lying; it’s not a decision you should take lightly. It’s a guaranteed way to destroy friendships if you starting throwing accusations around and the last thing you want is to completely isolate yourself from your friends and to be alone. Even if you are in fact correct in your suspicions, they will probably still deny it unless you have 100% concrete proof, as no one wants to be exposed as a liar. And if you are wrong in your accusations they will never trust you again, you will have lost a friend, and you will feel utterly terrible about it. So if there is any doubt at all, it may be worth giving them the benefit of the doubt in order to try and save the friendship in the long run.
3) Some friendships may simply not be worth saving, only you can decide on which are and which are not, but don’t just focus on the occasions where people do make mistakes and let you down, remember the good times and the times when they have been there for you; doing this may help to restore some faith in them.
Good luck, I hope things pick up for you soon.
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