Conclusion

Well, I think I've finally come to my conclusion about university.


I hate it here.

I absolutely, utterly, sodding hate it here.

Why is it when I look on Facebook, everyone has photos taken of them depicting happy, lots of friends, laughing, joking... etc. I have 9 photos of me. 9.

Ok, I shouldn't be using a website to judge the state of my life, but it isn't just that. Sure, I have friends, but they're not very good friends. They're the people I hang out with because otherwise, I would be on my own. Conversation revolves around them, and sure it's probably because I ask them about their lives, their weekends, whatever else they get up to. But have they once asked after me? No. Do they care about me? I don't feel cared about.

I don't know what I've done wrong; I've been social, I've done everything I can to join in with things and make the effort. Nobody seems to care. I'm stuck here, away from the people I care about most - family, friends back home.

I can't be myself here - the minute I start behaving "normally" I get odd looks and annoyed glances. I've become as introverted as I was in Highschool.

Also, I hate this stupid year of stuff I don't even care about. I'm paying to redo my A-levels. Whoo, fucking, hoo. Ok, I like Biology, but I wanted to progress. I didn't want to sit there for 50 minutes learning about the sodding lac operon. How the chuff is it relevent to zoology? Search me.

I feel like I'm wasting my time. I'm miserable 80% of my time here. I'm in tears for about 60% of that. Everyone at home seems to be so cold towards me I wonder what the heck I've done wrong. It's like I really don't have anything to live for anymore.