Conclusion

Well, I think I've finally come to my conclusion about university.


I hate it here.

I absolutely, utterly, sodding hate it here.

Why is it when I look on Facebook, everyone has photos taken of them depicting happy, lots of friends, laughing, joking... etc. I have 9 photos of me. 9.

Ok, I shouldn't be using a website to judge the state of my life, but it isn't just that. Sure, I have friends, but they're not very good friends. They're the people I hang out with because otherwise, I would be on my own. Conversation revolves around them, and sure it's probably because I ask them about their lives, their weekends, whatever else they get up to. But have they once asked after me? No. Do they care about me? I don't feel cared about.

I don't know what I've done wrong; I've been social, I've done everything I can to join in with things and make the effort. Nobody seems to care. I'm stuck here, away from the people I care about most - family, friends back home.

I can't be myself here - the minute I start behaving "normally" I get odd looks and annoyed glances. I've become as introverted as I was in Highschool.

Also, I hate this stupid year of stuff I don't even care about. I'm paying to redo my A-levels. Whoo, fucking, hoo. Ok, I like Biology, but I wanted to progress. I didn't want to sit there for 50 minutes learning about the sodding lac operon. How the chuff is it relevent to zoology? Search me.

I feel like I'm wasting my time. I'm miserable 80% of my time here. I'm in tears for about 60% of that. Everyone at home seems to be so cold towards me I wonder what the heck I've done wrong. It's like I really don't have anything to live for anymore.

The Zoo Crew

Haha yes, that's what Cat dubbed the group of us that have all seemed to band together. I think she meant the term to encompass all the students who have taken zoology, but I can't see all 27 or so of us getting together every day; there were about ten of us I can envision hanging out on a regular basis.

Lectures started today, I had my first 'physiology' and 'genes and evolution' lectures. Most of it was stuff I'd already covered in A-level, so it wasn't too taxing. Didn't stop me from taking notes though. My work finishing at 2, after finishing off a few things (like collecting a rape alarm, it was free), I headed back to try off and warm up; having been so kindly splashed by a passing car on my way to the roscoe building that morning.

At some point, I will write up my lectures notes, most probably tonight. I know I probably don't need to seeing as once I get hold of my biology notes, they'll suffice. But it's good to get into the habit isn't it?

Also, totally -not- looking forward to the 3hr lab sessions I'm going to have to endure every friday D:

KittyKattys

We went to Chester today - one just for a day out, and two because the Chester and North Wales catshow was on. It was great, and perfect weather for such an occasion. We walked round the old walls of the city (known as the Chester wall walk), and had an icecream by the river while we watched the ducks and seagulls and stuff. (I was tempted to have a stem ginger icecream but in the end opted for chocolate).

The catshow itself brought back memories I can tell you, the smell of the place was one thing. Hot, vaguely cat weey and fur smell. Although I was sort of dissapointed we didn't see much else apart from siamese and persians. Then again you can take it as read that the majority of cats shown at these things fall into one of those two categories. Still, there was some other very pretty things there, and some very friendly ones. It always annoys me because you're not allowed to stroke them (and it's hard keeping your hands to yourself!) but you wouldn't want to spread some sort of disease and it's just politeness really. I mean, if I was showing my cats I wouldn't want the general public poking and prodding at them endlessly.

Still. There were a few cats/kittens there I would have -gladly- snuck off with ;3