Paper faces on parade

So moving on, to celebrate this momentous deadline me and my friends (Karen, Hannah, Sandy and the respective men partners) will be attending a masquerade ball on Saturday night. I state who will be coming tentatively, because while I know for definite we will have Karen, Hannah, Sandy and Damien with us, there's been a little bit of the usual broo-haa-haa whether or not Wayne (Sandy's husband) will come and yesterday Karen told me on a quiet aside that she's heard something about James (Hannah's beau) not being able to come either.

You may also notice the significant lack of Avanti - and yes, her absence will be sorely missed. I can't recall the exact reason, but I think initially she was supposed to still be in Holland at this point with V, but had to come back to England early. She's had more trouble with her project than any of us, and she also told us that a ticket plus a dress and a mask would be too much for her (in typical Avanti style, apologising profusely). Avanti is possibly the most honest and selfless person I know and while it's a crying shame she won't be with us, we arranged for pizza on the friday night to catch up with her then, instead (:

Anyway, I digress. Masquerade balls have been a point of quiet wonder for me for a long time - when I think masquerade I think Phantom of the opera (or god, that creepy scene from Labyrinth) and quite unlike me I'm stupidly, girlishly excited about the whole affair. Perhaps this has something to do with my mask arriving just this morning - I even got the whole 'special delivery for Natalie Beresford'. Anyway, the picture above is my mask. Pretty, aint it? I had already saved myself a tonne of money by wearing a dress I have *gasp* worn before (highschool dinner dance, yes it still fits. Better than it did when I was sixteen, actually) so I figured I could go spend a bit of money on a nice mask, rather than buying a three quid one 'and making do'. The trouble was, my dress is a fetching (if awkward) shade of purple and there was always that risk of 'if I buy a mask with purple on it, the purple will be a different shade and it won't match'.

So initially, I began looking at entirely black masks. I have to say after my searching, all-black masks are universally boring unless they're decorated with feathers. The problem with masquerade masks is that feathers tend to be huge, and with me being... petite, huge feathers stuck to my face would look really dumb. So a featherless mask that wasn't all black, OR had any purple on it was my goal. This narrowed my options down considerably.

In the end I stumbled across http://www.accito.com/, who claim to make masks that are 'hand crafted in Venice, Italy'. Whether or not this is true I couldn't tell you, but I liked what I saw and from my searching, the pricing was very reasonable (nice masquerade masks can be up to anywhere short of £200 or more). When I found a mask in black, gold and that old ceramic kind of white, with manuscript between the eyes no less! I knew that mask was mine. It was also in the sale so I snapped it up for just over £20. Bargain.

Deadlines

Well, the hand-in date for my project is today at 4pm.

But I handed mine in yesterday.

It definitely isn't the best piece of work I've ever done, but by yesterday afternoon I knew that 1.) I was never going to understand it more than I already did in 24hours 2.) if I kept it with me, I would just keep picking at it and probably make it worse, I mean, I'm absolutely terrible with scabs and projects not handed in are in the same vein. So I printed it off, which included about ten minutes fixing one particular chart up by hand because it wouldn't print right, getting it bound, undertaking the tedious task of filling out two cover sheets for each of my copies and then finally handing the thing in. Returning home I handed in my 'electronic copy' (which apparently they use to check you ain't plagiarised) and that was it. Since yesterday afternoon I've been sat here thinking 'oh I wonder if I did this...' then telling myself off for it. There's nothing I can do about it now, so why worry?

I think some small part of me feels bad for not being as religious with its synthesis as everyone else has been. It will reflect in my mark, this I know. But another part of me felt as though I expended all my time and energy on the data collection part of the project, while everyone else was sitting in a lab or whatever, I was lugging camera and tripod, chasing after a flock of wild birds. I hope I get effort marks. Also, and this may sound like an excuse but it's true; I struggle to be diligent at something I know I'm no good at. Rather than being a centre that fosters learning and independent exploration of a given subject, uni has made me feel inferior in every conceivable way. All I really got was a three year course on how to be a pedantic twat and question everything that's put in front of me. I know that I am not closed off to learning; I still pick up chord sequences on the guitar for a song I want to learn how to play, I collect scattered pieces of knowledge I put forth in my creative writing. I have an excellent memory for trivia but a terrible one for 'non-vocal communication'.

But it's over with now. It's a month until my exams and that's another kettle of fish I'll boil when the time is right. Hooray!

A novel thought

I hear there are two main approaches to fiction writing; plot driven and character driven.

What I mean by this is that a 'plot driven' story tends to focus on exciting, action-driven writing populated by characters that were probably created with a personality constituting of five, single-word bullet points (RE: 'adventurous, philanthropic, strong-willed, moral, hot-headed'). From my reading, people attribute this kind of writing with 'male fiction' and rightly so; I'm painting with a very broad brush here, but I would say action films fall into this category, and what kind of films do men generally want to go and watch? Still, I'm not condemning this type of writing; a good plot-driven story that springs to mind is the Matrix.

The second method, 'character driven' seems to have a basic, generic plot but creates characters that to me seem very human. They have goals, preferences and their errors not only include failing to achieve the plot's aim (as the characters in the first scenario often do), but often failing in terms of being a good person. They take two steps backward for every step forward; they are not perfect archetypal cut-out people. Obviously, for this reason character driven writing runs alongside 'female fiction' because generally, women take more of an interest in people and their personal lives than men do. The Last Unicorn is still a book I value for its characters.

My point to this is a thought that occurred to me recently - surely combining the two; an excellent plot with fantastically real, fleshed out characters, would create some kind of 'super story'. But after about half an hour of trying to make this work in my head it became clear to me that it possibly cannot be done. I doubt I was alone in this idea; that there exists no examples to my scant knowledge of somebody marrying the two together suggests so. In my mind, one aspect will ultimately suffer; developing a good plot leaves little room for development of your characters and vice versa. It was as though within the predefined 'space' I had created for a novel, both were opposing forces that expanded like balloons to crush and eventually burst one another.

In my previous endeavours to write I have always been irritated by how flat and lifeless my characters are as opposed to the plot and this prevented me from moving forward. Perhaps, as a female writer, I should concentrate on the second approach. After all, creating characters is what I enjoy doing the most, thus it makes sense I ought to be exploring their lives rather than attempting to squash them into a story they want no part in.

Rant

I'm worried this blog will just turn into my own personal ranty nej-space. So it's probably best to just skip this one; it won't contain anything constructive, it's just me on a hormone induced rant-fest.

So first off, I realised for myself why Phil Collins as a solo artist is rubbish. That might not be everybody's opinion, but it's my opinion. Why did every song he churn out (except perhaps, the soundtrack to Disney's Tarzan) some dreary, churned out dirge of bland crapola? (I realise that statement made no sense. Deal.) Like, mum put on one of his CD's in the car the other day, and my god, I sat through every single one waiting for it to end. None of it inspired me.

Next, I have zero faith in about 80% of my friends right now. Maybe I've been a terrible friend lately, but have they asked me how I am? Why is it always me putting my nose out for them, yet when I need them they're not there? Rach keeps on doing weird wtf stuff behind my back, and has made me out to be the enemy even though I've done nothing wrong - that's fast becoming the flavour of my life right now. Am I some kind of easy scapegoat or something?

Thirdly, I'm eating too much. My period won't start, I've had cramps for four days in a row now and I'm sick of feeling like a bloated whale. I've eaten five slices of toast, one and a half Jamaica ginger cakes, one and a bit roast chickens, three bowls of salad, half an arctic ice roll, several hand-fulls of cheerios, a bowl full of cinnamon grahams, god knows how many cups of tea, three milky bars ... in the space of two days. I'm still hungry. I'm in pain. I want to cry all the time. Mum invites me to go shopping with her for some company then yells at me because I don't know what I want to eat. Look at the above list - does that look like it's a very decisive kind of diet to you? The grahams came at half seven in the evening. The chicken was for breakfast. No dad, I'm not pregnant.

Forthly this is just a random hatred of the way people take out their anger on me. I'm not taking your crap just because you don't feel happy right now.

Fifthly, I got an email from Jonny but he can trav off to travland and become welsh and fall off the mountain and break his legs. It was a bunch of lame excuses as to how that status wasn't aimed at me (of course, how could it be, I'm so amazingly perfect to him!) - I picked it apart in five minutes. Everything he said in that email was a lie. Go figure. GTFO. He'll get a reply, eventually. Not right now.

Sixthly, I really hate how mum is such a compulsive liar. She said we were going to visit bapcia today, but this morning she said "you know, I really ought to get the car serviced. I don't want to drive all that way. I don't think it's safe." And whenever craig phones up she makes up some bollocks about how much housework she's done.

Bapcia phoned up today, asking what time we were supposed to be there for. I felt awful - I hope mum will too when she realised Blythe had the guts to tell Bapcia the truth about what happened. Why shouldn't we? It'll all fall on our heads I know but props to Blythe - at least she was honest.

Basically, nej stamp to the world.

In other news, I've been spending less time on the internet. Instead I've been reading my book, watching Greek, thinking about buying another book to read after I finish this one, taking random excursions out, seeing baby jackdaws and I've been colouring. Yes, the poster. I'm really enjoying that - thanks dad (: xxx

"Completely fake and full of nothing but bullshit and deceit"

Nice when you know that comments like that are specifically aimed at you, isn't it?

I read that in somebody's MSN status today, and I'm pretty damn certain the only time said person signs into MSN is to talk to me. So that comment was for my benefit.

I'm not naming names, but this will be because I haven't been hanging on the end of the line for this person when they want to talk to me. Yes, I did agree that we ought to meet up and do something but I know what this person is like.

This is the kind of awful friendship that exists between a lad and a lass, and the lad 'wants something more' and the lass doesn't. She won't ever want anything more than for him to be her friend. She's told him this to his face. Twice. The second time she was blissfully single, not in any rush to fall back into a relationship. The first she happened to still be in a relationship. But he still persists. He still invites her over with the pretence that what's going on is everyone included, but instead it's a cleverly engineered situation to get him alone with her. He guilt trips her into staying longer than she really wants to, so late that he insists on walking her home. He invades her personal space almost constantly. He tries to play footsie under the table with her.

If she wanted a relationship, if she was even vaguely attracted to this lad, it might be sweet. Instead it just comes across as stifling and slightly creepy. So instead the friendship becomes unbalanced with him putting in far more effort than is needed and her doing everything in her power to avoid sending out signals that might be misinterpreted as 'leading him on'. She doesn't even feel capable of making eye contact with him most of the time. This is the kind of friendship that people base the whole scenario of 'guys and gals can't just be friends' upon, because it's true - eventually one person always ends up getting hurt. If you cave and decide to date the other person, you're essentially lying to them; you can't generate feelings of affection for somebody just like that. It's going out with somebody because you pity them, because you haven't got the balls to say no. You can't begin a relationship on lies, heaven's knows most relationships generate enough lies throughout their course as it is.

I've told him, he deserves somebody better than me. Because he does; as wonderful as he thinks I am I'm never going to be that person for him; he can love and dote on me all he likes - I wish I did have somebody like that in my life who I loved just as much. I just don't love him in that way. I never will, and I certainly don't currently. But how can I be any more blunt with him without sounding like a complete cow? I tell him these things because I care about him as a friend, I don't want to lead him on but it seems that whatever I do I end up messing things up more.

As you can see - he's clearly not happy with not being able to speak to me for the sum total of seven days. I've not spoken to Karen for about the same length of time, and she's not posting bitchy statuses on msn. I can't deal with the guilt that's piled onto me for not being able to generate affection for somebody, it isn't fair. I struggle to be a good, consistent friend to people at the best of times - but he brings out the worst in me.

Breaking news! Or not

I hate that feeling of knowing something that other people don't, just as much as I hate not knowing something that they do. Exclusivity isn't a state I'm comfortable with at all and neither is superiority, but this afternoon I had a run in with such a situation and it was everything I could do to not come across as an overbearing know-it-all. I mean, I have always been the kind of person to question everything and while this is good in some contexts, it means that I'm predisposed to picking things apart worse than a crow at a carcass. Unfortunately this aspect of my personality is something that university has only compounded.

Anyway, I digress - the incident I'm blogging about happened over MSN, when a good friend of mine literally sprang online in an excited frenzy to tell me that Bowie was releasing a new album. The conversation went something like this;

"Oh my god, Nat - you'll never believe this. I've just finished watching an interview with David Bowie on the TV and apparently he's releasing a new album this year! It was with techno music though, it sounded really different..."

So like, I hate to be a cynic but I was having difficulty in believing this considering the man's kind of stuffed the music business for the last six or seven years save for that DVD release he did recently of his last tour or something along those lines. Plus, when she mentioned techno my first thoughts were 'but he's already done that' - I mean, why would he do another album in the same style (it's Bowie...) and why would he do an album in a style that people didn't really like?

"Are you sure this is a recent album? It sounds kinda like Earthling..."
"No I swear, he was going to release it this year, he said"
"Oh right. What's the album called?"
"I can't remember the name of it - but I remember what the album cover looked like; it was him in a union jack outfit, backed by english countryside."

And uh, I don't know about you, but; http://images.uulyrics.com/cover/d/david-bowie/album-earthling.jpg this kind of sums up my mental image. So me being me, I showed her that and we came to the conclusion she must have been watching some pre-recorded old interview on sky tv, which she was.

Shame, there was a millisecond where I was really excited.

Guitar

So, I think it was about three weeks ago on a Tuesday night that I got the sudden, overwhelming urge to play my guitar. For the past I don't know when, probably two years, my guitar has sat largely untouched either in a corner of my room, or, recently, at my dad's house. I still have no idea what made me suddenly want to play it so badly; when I came to university I'd brought it with me, but I had little or no urge to even get it out of the case to tune it. But something on that Tuesday night nagged and nagged until I couldn't bear it any longer and fired off an email to dad asking if he could bring it round. Joyously, I got a hold of it that evening and almost immediately afterwards, tuned it (wow, how sad to hear the state it'd gotten into) and played it for about three hours solid until the ends of my fingers were numb.

Now, last year at number 13 I did try to kick myself into picking it up again by purchasing and fitting a new set of strings, so the ones that are on it are 'new' and never really got played in. I feel I should get my money's worth by wearing them at least a little before I swap them for the shiny new set I bought the other week but

1.) Having been left for so long, they'll be crummy anyway. So that's £10 down the drain :]
2.) Looking at my guitar, I've done a really bad job of restringing it. Playing a G chord sets the strings buzzing like nobodies business.

So it's probably better to just restring it anyway. At least I know that the new strings will get played in properly this time. Also, in absence of any new classical music I've been (gasp) using a plectrum. I grew my nails like a good girl ready for some good finger picking but the other day I picked up some plectrums along with my strings and idk, I really like using one. It's hard though, I never was able to play using a plectrum and to some extent I used to frown on people who did. But I'm getting there. I'm a little worried that my normal technique will go down the pan so I should probably play using both styles so that I grow rather than go backwards, if that makes any sense.

Where are all of these hours going? One thing I hated about myself when I played the guitar for the ensemble and in concerts, was how arrogant it made me. I'll admit it - I knew that I wasn't the best out there and I did honestly think I was on the same level as the other players in the group, but at the same time I was always keen to point out what was wrong with the performance yada yada. I hated how critical I was. Thus, I think it's safe to say that for now I'm just going to shut myself in my room and play by myself without any focus or agenda, so that nobody has to be subjected to me. I can't say how long my housemates are going to endure the same chords over and over though - nobody at university ever knew me as 'a guitarist' even though they knew I played, they never knew that I played.

New look, new leaf

Alright, so I've been neglecting this blog horribly, attempted to start again with LJ, never posted a single entry into it. So I'll come back here and start documenting my life again. TBH, there's too much to write down all in one post and I need a pee but let's just summarise by saying I'm single, I'm bored and jaded with my university course, I'm not sure if I'm mentally stable but on the plus side I've never been happier and freer, and I picked up my guitar for the first time in two years a few weeks ago and play for about four hours on average every night. My house mates must be so sick of hearing me mash out the same old chords, but I guess they never knew I loved the guitar so much :)

In the words of one of my favourite characters, Otis;

Tschüß and all that
xxx

I have done 57 stupid things

Level 1.
[X] Said LOL out loud. (ur, I do this all the time)
[X] Forgotten your own age.
[X] Tried to lick your elbow.
Total so far: 3

Level 2.
[] Said the wrong name in bed.
[] Had unprotected sex.
[] Hurt yourself sexing.
[] Sexed yourself hurting.
Total so far: 3

Level 3.
[X] Licked your toe.
[] Licked a frozen pole.
[] Licked a dog bone.
[] Licked a dog.
Total so far: 4

Level 4.
[X] Drank old milk. (urgh, there was a period I did this every morning)
[] Drank milk right from a cow.
[] Ever thought chocolate milk came from brown cows.
[] Drank Qwik right from the brown cow.
[] Pushed a cow over.
Total so far: 5

Level 5.
[] Eaten bugs.
[] Eaten garbage.
[X] Eaten food off the floor after five seconds. (NOM NOM NOM)
[X] Eaten a booger. (:B)
Total so far: 7

Level 6.
[] Been in a five-seater car with more than seven people.
[] Been in a seven-seater van with over twelve people.
[] Driven in a seven-seater van by yourself.
[] Driven a tricycle past the age of three.
[] Driven yourself to the wrong house.
Total so far: 7

Level 7.
[] Put dirty dishes in the fridge.
[] Put bowls of food in the dishwasher.
[x] Put a full glass of juice in the cupboard.
[] Put salt in your coffee.
[] Dropped the cap into the glass you were drinking from.
Total so far: 8

Level 8.
[] Jumped over a car.
[x] Jumped out of a moving car.
[] Jumped into a thorny bush on purpose.
[] Jumped off a bridge.
[] Jumped off your house.
Total so far: 9

Level 9.
[] Forgotten where you live.
[] Forgotten your own birthday.
[x] Forgotten to zip up in the morning. (lmao xD)
Total so far: 10

Level 10.
[x] Walked into a pole.
[x] Walked into a wall.
[x] Walked into someone.
[] Walked into a parked car.
Total so far: 13

Level 11.
[] Won a burping contest.
[] Burped the alphabet.
[x] Burped just to break the silence.
[x] Burped too hard and thrown up. (Yeah x.x
Total so far: 15

Level 12.
[x] Eaten a whole bag of chips.
[] Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
[x] Eaten a whole pizza so no one else could have a slice.
Total so far: 17

Level 13.
[x] Been caught picking your nose.
[x] Been caught going to the bathroom outside.
[] Been caught with your pants down.
[] Been caught having sex. (thank god !D: )
[] Been caught sexing yourself.
Total so far: 19

Level 14.
[] Shoved something up your nose.
[x] Picked your nose and studied what came out.
[] Picked your nose till it bled.
[] Let your nose bleed to see the awesome blood all over you.
[x] Blew your nose so goddamn hard your whole body hurt.
Total so far: 21

Level 15.
[x] Told a lie.
[x] Been caught in a lie.
[x] Lied to cover a lie.
[x] Lied to cover your ass.
[] Lied to an undercover hooker cop.
Total so far: 25 (wow, I'm a cheating little slytherin)

Level 16.
[x] Laughed at someone in pain. (other people's misfortune is my glee)
[x] Laughed too loud and embarrassed yourself. (yeah.)
[] Laughed at a funeral.
[] Laughed so hard you pissed yourself. (no, only fodi does that)
Total so far: 27

Level 17.
[x] Written a letter to Santa Claus.
[] Believed in Santa past the age of eight.
[] Believed your folks when they said that a bunny laid chocolate eggs in the house.
[] Believed you were NEVER too old for trick-or-treating. (never went)
Total so far: 28

Level 18.
[] Thrown a party for yourself.
[] Thrown a ball at yourself.
[] Thrown up on yourself.
[] Thrown a ball at a wall that returned directly to your crotch.
[x] Thrown a super ball in the house and taken it right in the face.
Total so far: 29

Level 19.
[x] Pretended to know what you're doing.
[x] Pretended you were hot shit.
[x] Pretended you weren't listening.
[] Pretended you were Spider-Man. (no but I've pretended I was other superheros e_e ... aside from that HOW DO I SHOT WEB!?)
Total so far: 32

Level 20.
[x] Fell on the sidewalk.
[x] Fell down the stairs. (fucking hurts.)
[x] Fell UP the stairs. (doesn't hurt as much)
[] Went sledding down the stairs.
Total so far: 35

Level 21.
[x] Tried to do a really cool back flip...
[x] And busted your ass. (actually I kneed myself in the eye xD)
[x] Tried to do a really cool cartwheel...
[x] And didn't lift your feet, retard. (|: I was a retarded child)
Total so far: 39

Level 22.
[] Eaten food that you just kind of... found.
[] Eaten the mystery food in the back of the fridge.
[] Eaten something nasty to get a laugh.
[x] Cried when no one laughed.
Total so far: 40

Level 23.
[x] Cried when you hurt yourself.
[x] Cried when you didn't get your way.
[x] Cried over spilled milk.
[] Cried after sex.
Total so far: 43

Level 24.
[] Gone swimming naked.
[] Gone swimming in a stranger's pool.
[] Gone swimming with a hose in the yard.
[] Gone swimming in a stank-ass pond.
[x] Gone swimming in the bathtub like a champ. (8D)
Total so far: 44

Level 25.
[x] Ridden a pony.
[x] Ridden a donkey.
[] Ridden a lawnmower pretending it was an awesome racecar.
[] Ridden a shovel pretending it was an awesome spaceship.
[] Ridden the dog.
Total so far: 46

Level 26.
[x] Locked yourself out of your house.
[] Locked yourself out of your car.
[x] Locked yourself IN the car.
[x] Trapped yourself in a child's plastic house.
[x] Tangled yourself up in a rope.
[] Tangled yourself up in a hose.
[] Locked yourself in the trunk WITH the keys.
Total so far: 50

Level 27.
[] Overcooked a fancy meal.
[] Overcooked Easy MAC.
[] Overcooked a Pop-Tart.
[] Overcooked a tiny plastic army man.
[x] Overcooked yourself at the beach. (English :B need I say more ...)
Total so far: 51

Level 28.
[x] Bitten plastic fruit.
[x] Bitten into something too hard and hurt your teeth.
[x] Bitten down before you got the fork into your mouth.
[x] Lifted an empty soda you thought was full, thereby flinging it.
[x] Overcompensated an extra step in the stairs that wasn't there. (I do this every time I go downstairs in the dark, it's developed into this complex i have)
Total so far: 56

Level 29.
[] Mistaken a stranger for a family member and blabbed at them.
[x] Mistaken a man for a woman or vice-versa.
[] Shaved your eyebrows.
[] Poked yourself in the eye with safety goggles! Sweet irony.

Total: 57

Shamelessly stolen

from Dad's blog, but all the same this is an amazing meme;

The Rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker).

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favourite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favourite colour?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favourite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favourite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name. (or just your own name if you've not got a flickr account)



1. Natalie and Joe, 2. Very Berry Sunday, 3. HDR West Nab 2, 4. The Grotto, 5. Peace for Florida, 6. tea, 7. Whales at Eden., 8. Velvet Chocolate Cake with Prunes Soaked in Earl Grey Tea, 9. Black and White, 10. inspiration..., 11. false hope, 12. Sloth

Broken

Yes, broken. Mum's ankle this is.

Returning home on Sunday, Blythe and I settled into the typical 'lets mill about before going to bed'. Got the usual phone call from mum and then a few hours later she called again - telling us she wouldn't be coming home tonight because she'd hurt her ankle.

Well, Blythe answered the phone and was kind of annoyed with her, which was kind of bad I suppose in retrospect. Me being the quiet one just bunkered down and told her she should be kinder and more sympathetic to someone when they got hurt. And yes, nobody likes the person who says 'I told you so', but I do it anyway.

A trip to the hospital and several hours later it turns out the ankle mum believed to be sprained was actually badly broken, and what's more her leg was broken too. At this point I know what you're all thinking on how she did it; in the course of a few days it went to 'I vaulted over a wall' to 'I lowered myself carefully down from the fence'

So now I don't know what to think. But anyway, it's broken. After a few days in hospital including surgery she was deemed good enough on the crutches to come home. Now I'm looking after her. Honestly a job I don't mind doing, but at the same time I feel myself growing frustrated when people give me looks that let me know they think I can't cope. Can't drive, can't cook, can't do this, can't do that. Well screw you assholes. I'm coping just -fine-.

one thing that is guaranteed to get up my nose is when people think I'm incapable.

I don't mind toiling away unappreciated, I can cope with pretty much anything life throws. I'll find a way to cope. One thing I absolutely cannot stand is when people insult my intelligence and assume I can't do something. At least let me try first before you judge.

Sorry, this is turning into a rant, but really.

I was lain in bed last night feeling guilty because I'd been short with people. I know I'm selfish, lazy, greedy... and I was thinking - I suppose this makes me a bad person. Do people see me as a bad person? Do they 'put up with me' because I'm family/supposed friend?

Is this why I don't have that many friends?

I guess I'm just broken.

Playing Catchup

Well, I promised myself I wouldn't post in here until I finished the massive blog post I had done for Greece. In retrospect that was a stupid thing to do, because I grew bored of writing that and I've stopped writing in here. Silly me.

A lot has happened since; namely little things that I will try to remember here. In my mind, four things stick out as me remembering at the time 'oh yeah, I should really blog about this' so here goes;

1.) Chris left
Yes, despite my warnings to at least be a little more careful about where he stored his weed, Chris has indeed been kicked out of Allen Hall. He was really bitter about it, and everyone was sad to see him go since he was well liked, but it was his own fault. I had no qualms about him smoking, it's his funeral after all, but choosing to smoke it inside when he'd already been caught twice was stupid. I still see him from time to time, but whatever. I had few friends in halls anyway, so it really makes little difference he is no longer here.


2.) I got lost on a bus
Sounds like an amazing story, and you may skip to number three if you should so desire. Anyway, after a meeting concerning my Greece project writeup, I decided to go into town for some clothes. So, waiting at the bus stop, I caught the 142; the guaranteed direct route into Piccadilly Gardens. At least, this was what I thought - I'd caught this bus into town a multitude of times and it had always gone the same way. Except for today.
As it headed towards the library, it suddenly veered off down this side road I'd never seen before, and stopped at a stop where everyone began to get off. I wasn't too worried at this point, because we weren't that far away from my destination, and I figured the bus would carry on straight and turn back up into Piccadilly. Wrong.
As the bus continued I had this horrible feeling that I was getting further and further away from the centre of Manchester. Yet I still believed, even at that point, that we were going to wind up going full circle. I think perhaps the lack of people being picked up along the way might have given me a clue as to our real destination.
The Depot.
Figuring that the bus driver probably hadn't seen me since he would have told me to get off at what had been the last stop, I pretended I had 'fallen asleep' and I got a free ride back. I was lucky in that respect, but not lucky in that I'd wasted 45 minutes exploring the depths of Chorlton while doing it. Ah well.


3.) The Snip
Yep. Been thinking about this for quite some time, tomorrow is when I get the 'snip'. (No, not -that- snip you fools.). I'm getting my hair cut. Short. Very short. Think Natalie Portman short. (: it's going to be wicked.

4.) Doctor Who
Yes, after the agonising wait, the series has finally come back. Same Doctor, new (and for the most part annoying) companion Donna. And while I'm happy to see it back, there are a couple of things that really grate every time I watch it.
- David Tennant. He'd have to be number one on my list, because I have no idea why he's suddenly doing the pirahna teeth and the manic eyes all the time. It's like he's been posessed by the same thing that got Rose in the (new) series 2. I mean, I think so far he's been a pretty good Doctor as Doctor's go, but what happened in this series I do not know. I'll be sad to see him (eventually) leave the franchise as I am with all the Doctors, or indeed Time Lords. Even so I'll welcome the change so long as they get someone completely different into the role. Unfortunately I can see them casting someone similar to Tennant (as in, personality wise), and that'll really annoy the heck out of me. New Doctor, New face, New personality. Please.
- The new theme tune. Don't like it much. It's kind of cool, but the random electric guitar riff? WTF.
- Donna. Oh I'm so on the edge with this one. Even moreso than Maaartaah. See, I liked Martah in the beginning, but then I disliked her. So far with Donna it's been Like, Dislike, Unsure, Like (as far as the episodes go). She's funny, which makes a change from a female fawning over the Doctor (which annoys the hell out of me). But she's also shouty (it gets boring). I like her compassion, but I don't like her accent. Why is it that so far, all the new series companions (bar Cpt.Jack, which is probably one reason I like him as a character), have had London accents? Hellooo England does not revolve around London! Get a companion from 'up north please :(

Aah they do say 'who fans complain about things an awful lot, always never quite happy with what they've been given. Last week's episode was the best so far, with the others being a little substandard. What do I know, I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy the series finale.

2 years

Happy 2 years Finn ^^ xXxXxXx

Letter Meme - the Letter T

This was given to me by my dad; I have to tell you ten things I love that begin with the letter T, they'll be in no particular order since I am thinking these up on the spot.


1.) Tea
Yes, well. I am British.
Tea is such a good, all round drink. It's comforting when you come in from a horrible day, demonstrates your thoughtfulness when consoling a friend or family member, warming when the heating doesn't work, refreshing drunk cold with lemon. It's lovely with a piece of cake, or a few biscuits, or even great brewed strong with lots of sugar and milk. The smell of tea leaves has to be one of my favourite smells of all time. I drink my tea in many different ways depending on my mood - I know pretty much everyone else has one particular style they take their tea, and will swear by it. I guess that's why I'm so difficult to make tea for :D

2.) Thirteen
Unlucky for some, thirteen is an interesting number for me. It happens to be the number of my first house (rented, but still, my first house!) and I'm wholly looking forward to living there next year with three of my closest friends from Uni; Cat, Andrew and Karen.

The hamster will have to go though.

3.) Thinking
I love thinking, I just wish the internet didn't dull my brain so much. It's true, I can feel it turning my mind into a vegetable whenever I'm not on it. Perhaps I should cut down.
I do an awful lot of thinking, perhaps disproportionately to the amount of living but I think it's an important process to go through before undertaking any action. Making a phonecall? I like to have the conversation rehearsed a good five or six times in my mind before I dial.
Thinking isn't just limited to every day stuff. I also find myself wondering about everything I see; why is that like this, how is this managing to do that. Sometimes I wish some people would stop and think before opening their mouths. Less words would be wasted that way, and the world would be a better place.

4.) T'internet

Total cheat, but how could I not include this? Like most young people of my generation, I love the internet, much to the dispair of my parents (or perhaps just one, I don't know). The majority of my free time is spent on the internet, browsing, socialising, playing games, running communities. The only thing I find frustrating about the internet is the fact that you can't trust what you read on it. Otherwise it would be an absolute goldmine of information.

5.) Thankyou
This just refers to compliments in general. I love giving people compliments and thanking them, and making them feel appreciated. I once heard that it takes someone seven compliments to get over an insult. Gosh - and by the rate compliments are dished out (I mean, genuine, well thought out compliments), no wonder everyone walks around with a frown on their face, or has such a negative self-image of themselves. Making people feel like they're worth something is one of the most important things you can do - I think if more young people were appreciated by their parents, peers, teachers etc, we wouldn't be seeing such high suicide rates.

6.) Trinkets
I'm a total hoarder. I get attatched to inanimate objects and I don't like change. What can I say? I'm a Capricorn - I have a love of material items as petty as that sounds. A pretty necklace, a new candle or incense burner, a new plant to add to my collection. Little gifts that were bought with an idea as to how they compliment my personality I adore; it tells me people listen to what I say and know me. They don't have to be expensive, either.

7.) Trees
Argh. I almost forgot to include this. Yes, I'm a complete hippy - I love trees. And not all this 'global warming CO2 footprint, carbon negative plant more trees' rubbish.
I'm not a big fan of plants, and I have little respect for botanists. For one, plants don't do much, they sit there an photosynthesise, respire, pump ion...s (haha), and grow. Occasionally reproduce. Ok, well they live, but they're no as interesting to me, as animals. But trees are like the whales of the plant family, especially those that live in the rainforests and grow to 60m tall and 10m wide. Christ, you have to have some respect for an organism that big. I mean, some of them live to over 4000 years old. That's older than Christianity. :B

'sides, if you're feeling lonely, and nobody is around, give one a hug. They're surprisingly fun to hug. Woods are awesome places to walk, too.

8.) Thumb
mmm, my left thumb is looking rather appealing as I write this. (Joking). I used to suck my thumb, avidly. All the time. When my parents left the room, in it would go. At bedtime, in it would go. Even when my dear old Grandad told me that if I kept on doing it, I would suck it away, I continued (although, I would take it out occasionally and measure it against my right to make sure it wasn't shrinking). Braces were what eventually persuaded me to stop, and since then it hasn't gone back in.

9.) Tickling
As much as I protest, I love being tickled. Ribs, knees, armpits. I'm pretty much ticklish everywhere, and there isn't something more fun than being tickled. It's a shame people think I'm too old for that kind of behaviour now.

10.) Toast
Toast is another thing that goes well with tea, but unlike tea, I have to have mine in particular ways. I usually have my toast with just butter on it, but the butter has to be melted. If I have marmalade, it has to be a thin scraping with copious amounts of butter. If I have marmite, the marmite again, has to be a thin scraping. There's nothing much else I like on toast, aside from the occasional spreading of peanut butter. In general, I love toast.

Sir David.

The MAN.

I went to the Trafford Centre today as Sir. David Attenborough was doing book signings of his latest book - "Life in Cold Blood"

This of course is his last series, so basically he's done it all. I have to admit that his programmes have always been one of the highlights of both my TV viewings and of my knowledge on the animal (and plant) world. I suppose his series over the years have made me go off and read more about some of the more obscure animals out there, and I'm pretty certain had it not been for him I would not know as much about animals as I do today. I probably wouldn't be studying zoology, either.

We went to the Trafford Centre straight after our 1.00 lecture. He was due for the signings between 6pm and 7.30pm, so we knew we were in for a long wait. We didn't mind though; this was David Attenborough after all - as I put it, he is the God of Zoology.

So we fell into the queue. Some of the group had got there before us and were in the little roped off area. We got shunted to wait up a flight of stairs, but as the queue grew we were glad we came as early as we did; it was MASSIVE.

The wait didn't feel long, and the only hitch came when we were informed we had to have a reciept of purchase with us to get the book signed. Bummer - most of us had gotten them for xmas, and therefore didn't have their little 'reciepts'. So deciding to foil there stupid money making scheme we went and bought books just to get reciepts, but we're all returning them over the next couple of days =]

I spotted Sir.David going to sit down first, and sort of made this small squeal to alert the rest of the crew, for the next twenty minutes or so gawking at him. I kind of feel sorry for the man, being so old I can't imagine he has much energy left, and to have all these people bothering him must be exhausting. Still, it's his fault for being so awesome.

Finally, it was our turn. While we all went up individually to get a signing, we had asked to get a group photo done at the end. Anyway, I handed him my book. The conversation wasn't much, but to be honest I was more in awe of just who I was standing next to. It went something like this;

"Hi!"
"Hello Natalie, how are you?" (I had a tag in my book with my name on - WHS policy)
"Very excited to meet you."
"Good. Here you are."

And then he gave me a really genuine look with a smile.

"Thankyou very much."

And then we took the group photo. I'm sure all photos will appear on Facebook sooner or later. (:

Girl Gamer

I was reading a thread on a gaming forum today, and I came across the following quotes:

"Girls only game because they want to attract guys"

"they're always 'hit too many branches on the way down from the tree of life' types. Either that or they're the 'younger generation' i.e. twelve year olds"

"They only play 'final fantasy' or 'kingdom hearts'."

"Playing one game does not a gamer make."

Um... excuse me?

Ok, perhaps I'm a little defensive. Of all the girl gamers I know... which is.... five, four of them only play final fantasy, kingdom hearts, and occasionally games with 'hot anime guys' in them. (I.e. Soul Calibur because of *swoon* Sigfried). Or at least, those are the only games they talk about, and more to the point they're the only games they seem to think exist.

Oh... they play the Sims I guess.

Trying to strike up a conversation with them about any games always results in them drifting off into swathes of

'ooooh Cloud! oooh Sephiroth'

And people can't understand why I hate final fantasy...

Anyway, I'm drifting off topic a little. I also want to make the point that I continued reading that thread, hoping that someone would come to our defence and put forward that there are some of us who aren't complete ogers... but nobody did.

I began thinking - am I the only girl who plays stuff like AoE?

Alright, I'm not great at many 'boy games' such as FPS's, Finn laughs at me when I play because I spend ages hiding around corners, then freak out when my sneaky plan is ruined and some dude chucks a grenade down at me. But I have good aim... I play a good Stranger's Wrath ... perhaps it's because I'm not very experienced at playing the sorts of games Finn does... idk D: FPS's are fun, but they scare me.

Racing games are... boring for me. I can get quite good with practice, but pretty soon the track just becomes a series of knowing the little shortcuts and knowing where to get the boost/powerup or slide this way etc etc... very tedious when the competition's not very good.

Ok, I absolutely love Age of Empires and games like it. I always have; games like that (the acronym doesn't spring to mind right now) are really satisfying to play.

I love building little towns ok? :c

I also love Platformers, Beat 'em ups and of course, RPG's (excluding anything remotely 'anime' urgh...). Ok well I was sort of a fan of Phantasy Star... Phan? :V

So am I an anomaly to the general consensus? I certainly don't play games to 'attract guys'. I've been gaming all my life, I don't tell people I game because they might shun me, and ok... I have my 'ugly' days as any girl would, but I'm not a complete troll... am I?

House

No, not of the M.D. sort.

So we've been trying to get ourselves somewhere to live next week. It's been a week so far and things aren't going too well.

Viewing 1

Houses booked for viewing: 6
Houses viewed: 3

Combination of some houses having been already taken, some houses being unavailable. Alright, that wasn't their fault. Well... ¬¬ I want to think it was.

Viewing 2

Houses booked for viewing: 2
Houses viewed: 0

After viewing the first lot, we saw one we really, really loved. But we probably couldn't get it because there was a family viewing who were ready to move in yada yada... we couldn't have it for September. So, we found houses on the same street to look at. In fact we got recommended two more that were identical.

We'd viewed number 2, and we had booked more viewings for houses 5 and 7

... we ended up being shown round number 17. An absolutely lovely house, roomy, well furnished, newly refurbished, safe area, clean, good rent...

5 bedrooms?

There's 4 of us. We'd specifically said we were looking for a four bedroomed house. The woman who came to show us round was equally unimpressed, as she put it 'this had been a complete waste of everyone's time'. So, while we were on the right street, we phoned them.

"Oh yes, sorry about the mistake, we'll send someone straight out - they will be there in 15 minutes."

30 minutes came and went. We phoned again.

"Oh yes, we're trying to get hold of the woman we're sending out, we'll ring you back when we get hold of her."

50 minutes later

"Sorry, we couldn't get hold of her."

So why did they not have the courtesy to ring us back? We were standing outside in the freezing cold for an hour.

Needless to say we're going back tomorrow and opening a can of whoopass.

Sale Shark

Earlier this week, my friend Cat was talking to me about her Rugby training. She signed up for it in Fresher's week, and has stuck with it even though she's been through two broken fingers and two awful trainers since that time. This weekend would herald her return to the field since her hand is fixed enough so she can play. Anyway, the main point of this anecdote is to highlight how weirdly my brain works sometimes. Obviously she was very excited about going back, particularly since she informed me she would be recieving coaching from sale sharks.

Now, at this point, I stopped listening to her momentarily and frowned inside my head. What was a sale shark and why were they, as she so eloquently put it, fit? More to the point why was a man from retail coaching a bunch of girls in rugby? I thought about it some more and came to the conclusion that a sale shark was something a little like a loan shark; I didn't really know what one of those was either, but I made a sale shark out to be something a little like a man who's really pushy when he's trying to sell you something.

"Alright, now everyone do five laps around the pitch, oh, Miss Jones, would you be interested in purchasing our new fragrance..."

Now, at this point, I bet everyone's understood what Cat meant by sale shark. It's pretty obvious that she meant members of the Sale Sharks - i.e. a local rugby team. Why didn't I twig? I have no idea. Perhaps it was because of the way she said it. Since then it's been decided that if we ever get round to designing the zoo crew hoodies, my nickname will be ... well. I think you can guess.

Fraturday Five

1. What do you need?

More hours in the day if I could choose something. But of everything I could give up or live without, (emotionally, not physically) I don't think I could give up the special people in my life, 'cos y'know. That's why they're special.

2. What won't you share?

Other people's secrets. If someone's told me something in confidence, I think it's the worst thing to go blabbing to other people.

3. What do you hurry through?

My educational work. Perhaps I should rephrase that and say 'I do my work as quickly yet efficiently as possible'.

4. Who is worth waiting for?

It depends how good their reason for being late is. Generally speaking, the people who I'm closest to I'm more likely to forgive if something goes awry. Not always though, some people let me down time and time again.

5. Friday fill-in: I can't bear to ______.

Hurt someone's feelings.

Roleplaying slang dictionary

Sounds like some weird sexual fetish when you talk to someone and they ask you if you roleplay. Sometimes, unfortunately, it can be 0_o. But most of the time it is a perfectly good past time (i.e. no sexual lol). I find it a good way to exercise my writing skills, relax, have fun, socialise etc. Let me explain;

Roleplay is where two or more people pick a character from movie, tv, book etc, or make up your own, and then... make them interact. It's like a story I guess, but you can only control your character (i.e. not other people's) and you take it in turns to tell the story from your character's point of view, each time progressing the story further. Can either be done in pairs or in groups, and it usually has a genre and plot.

genre - the genre of the roleplay. Can either be something totally made up 'Medieval Fantasy, Egyptian' etc, or from popular culture 'Harry Potter, Dragon Riders of Pern'

plot - a line of events that the roleplay should follow for it to remain interesting and avoid rambling off in no particular direction. The plot is usually discussed before people start the roleplay, but it can be added to and embellished as the story progresses.

a reply/line/post - Your side of the story, i.e your contribution. People praise replies on their length, quality, and inclusion of the/a plot.

a 'one liner' - a reply that is one line long. In roleplaying terms, you would usually apologise for only writing one line of reply because it's unusual that you can include detail that would move the plot forward. It's hard to reply to a one liner, but if your previous post was so bad that was all the person could write in response, it's your fault.

powerplay - making you character all powerful is generally frowned upon in roleplaying circles, this is because it isn't realistic. Nobody on this planet was ever a ninja at ten years old, or could negate the effects of a nuclear missile. If physical fights are involved in roleplay, it's expected that you can avoid getting hurt to some degree, but you can't dodge everything.

Writers block - aah writer's block. Usually the excuse used when your reply isn't very good, but can genuinely be a source of 'being unable to write'. Mental block, incapacity to think in which direction the roleplay should be taken

Typos - Spelling mistake. Shouldn't be made if you have a spell checker, but we all make the odd one from time to time.

"Apologies for typos!"

Godmoding/Godmodelling - two names, mean the same thing. Controlling other people's characters; not allowed, and it's easier done than you might think. Of course we go from obvious examples such as (where player 1 is Mrs.X and player 2 is Mr.Y) ;

Player 1: Mrs. X walked into a room and pulled Mr.Y into a tight hug. Mr Y scrambled out of her grasp.

Player 2: wtf mate? I'm playing Mr.Y!

To subtle things like:

Player 1: Mrs. X slapped Mr Y around the face. A red mark appeared there.

This is assuming that Mr.Y got hit - which should never happen. The person who is playing Mr.Y gets to decide if he got hit by that hand or not, not the person who initiated the slap. Godmoding is a tricky thing to get right; in response to the above example, you should write something like;

Player 1: Mrs.X aimed to slap Mr.Y

So that it gives poor Mr.Y some choice over what happens. Godmoding is often hard to avoid, even intentionally, because you have to assume some things if you want to have a good storyline, and you want the roleplay to progress. In which case you might often find someone asking if it's ok if Mrs. X tackles Mr.Y to the ground to avoid the arrows. Or... something like that.

Mary Sue/Gary Stu - where powerplay is frowned upon because you shouldn't make your character all powerful, nor should you make your character perfect in terms of personality and looks. Mainly because, instead of everyone supposedly loving the character, you will often find everyone hates them. 'Perfect' characters aren't realistic, and they're boring to roleplay, the name Mary Sue/Gary Stu (female/male respectively) is a humourous name for such characters. They're not always called Mary Sue lol :D

eg;

"She had perfect long golden ringlets that just fell past her shoulders, and baby blue eyes that reflected the sky's brilliance. Riding up to them on her pet tame unicorn, Mary Sue beamed happily-"

It's often more subtle than this, here is a real example of your every day Mary Sue;

"patronus »» - animal; unicorn- reason; impossible to tame, very rare, fierce, magnificent, selfless, brave and mysterious. beautiful and elegant, a symbol of peace, purity, and pride."

Introduction/Intro - I rarely see this called anything other than 'intro'. The start of the roleplay, the very first 'post' if you like. Usually it's expected that it should be longer than a regular post, because you have to introduce the plot, set the scene and set the stone rolling, so to speak. Some people hate writing the intro, other's adore it, but it all boils down to one person and they have to do a good job. Sometimes you might hear people talking about 'their intro' i.e.

"You write your intro first, and then I'll do mine ok?"

But their intro's purpose is only to introduce their character. The first post is always the most important, and this is the thing which we refer to when we say 'intro'.

OOC - "Out of Character." Pronounced, 'ooo-ck' 'oh oh see' or simply read out aloud, out of character. Sometimes annoyingly/humourously exchanged for other mnemonics such as 'out of cookies, old octopus crinkles'. All roleplayers know what ooc means, so we understand this little joke, but I bet some people sit there and think 'wtf?'

OOC is used when you want to say something outside the roleplay, i.e. to discuss the plot;

ooc Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?

But people usually have their own personal way in which they show ooc. The one above is what I use. Below I will list some of the more common forms, as not all ooc will be clearly labelled with 'ooc'. Eg;

((Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?))
{Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?}
[Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?]
-Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?-
ooc; Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?
Ooc - Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?
Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?

Double brackets is probably the most obvious way to show ooc writing without actually writing "ooc." Generally, as long as you make it clear that it's seperate from the main body of your post, roleplayers will understand that what you wrote was out of character.


IC/BIC - "In character/Back in character." Where brackets are not used, it's usually what you would use to show that you are indeed, continuing the roleplay -

ooc Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?

bic Simon looked around him... etc

obvious I know, but some people need telling. Sometimes I even show I'm bic by adding in an extra break;

ooc Guys, we're going to have the bomb go off in the next post aren't we?
-----
bic Simon looked around him... etc


Chatspeak - should never be used in roleplay. Ever. Ok.. there are exceptions to the rules, say for example, in ooc. But never never never use chatspeak when making your characters talk, no roleplayer appreciates this;

bic Simon looked around him and smiled. "Lol guys, look, I can c a bomb droppin from de sky lol"

ooc it's just barbaric. :D

--

The next few terms are roleplaying 'labels' people use when describing someone's ability. On one hand, it's very elitist, and I don't agree with it. On the other hand, it is useful to allow you to avoid people who wouldn't create a very 'fun' roleplay. If you write out a page of introduction to set the scene and introduce your character, and recieve one line in return, it's hardly an incentive to continue roleplaying with someone. Usually you are asked for a personal evaluation of your own standard before beginning a roleplay, and people are fairly (I use that word loosely) accurate about themselves. I have explained the terms using language your average roleplayer would use to describe them, it is not my personal view.

Illiterate - In normal terms this is someone who can neither read nor write. But in roleplaying terms it's a cruel name for someone who writes 'one liners' constantly, makes frequent 'typos' and cannot for the life in them, advance the plot. Usually this person shouldn't roleplay at all, but they can have a great deal of fun with people of their 'standard'

(See what I mean? This is genuinely the view that roleplayers carry around with them, elitist, horrible...)

my view; people usually don't call themselves 'illiterate', so my personal opinion will have to wait until the next description.

Semi-lit - This term is very, very dangerous to use. According to most, you are either literate, or you are not. Semi-lit is what illiterates call themselves to make themselves sound better than they really are. It makes me sad, and usually if someone comes to me saying they are Semi-lit, I will point them in the direction of another 'Semi-lit'. Some people never improve beyond this point, but semi-lit is often the case with new roleplayers who haven't got the hang of what they should be doing. In this case they turn out to be great roleplayers, you can normally tell this by their short, but wonderfully snappy posts. So, the majority of Semi-lits end up roleplaying together and having a lovely time of it, while staying well away from our next point of conversation. On rare occasion I have had engaging and fun roleplays with these people - they're good for a break, and I love seeing someone improve their writing as a result.

Literate - There are two breeds of literate. The snobbish, and the 'power to the semi-lits!'. I'm sad to say I'm a sort of mongrel between them both. I dislike roleplaying with semi-literates because they don't give me what I'm looking for in post length, but I know this is a horrible view to take, and thus I always try to help them, either by gently pointing out a mistake and suggesting an improvement, or by showing them someone else they can roleplay with. Sometimes I'm bad and just ignore them. =/ I know, I'm horrible like that. Literate people can write long, detailed posts, move a plot along, and understand the nuances of roleplay society. Yet some people claim to be literate because they can write five paragraphs describing what outfit their character is wearing. Don't be drawn in by these people - they're usually the snobbish ones, and can sometimes go by the title in our next description.

Advanced - literates who think they're above everyone else. Usually write a page on their characters outfit and can't actually advance a plot. Poison.

Oh yeah, and they have this weird little thing where they always bolden their speech. I.e.

"Are we going to the chip shop?" Said Fred.

Wierd.

Literate/Advanced - literally (lol) pronounced 'Literate Advanced'. For some reason it's written 'literate/advanced' but that's how you say it. Anyway. These are the roleplaying elite, the people who know how to roleplay and can roleplay well. My kind of people, and generally a term used to let people know what they're letting themselves in for. Sometimes, this term is misused to ensure that roleplayers of 'lower standard' don't blunder in and spoil something, and that is wrong. Literate/Advanced roleplayers are the sort of people you want to mix with if you strive to improve, usually the friendliest faces on the planet. Usually.

--

Limits - sometimes, usually among teenagers, roleplays can take on a decidedly 'sexual' flavour. Raging hormones and all that, but before a roleplay begins you will usually get asked what your 'limits are'.

"I'll also need to know your limits"

Literally this means 'how far into a sexual relationship are our characters allowed to go?'. All the more reason to firmly state you wish to keep the roleplay G (:D I do this to annoy them) because they will not hesitate to try to 'get into your pants'.

Of course, it's not all about sex. Roleplaying limits also include language (making swears) and violence (blood, gore, excessive fighting). They're sometimes fun to include, but they don't make a good roleplay. To set a limit, a roleplayer would use a film certificate rating, i.e.

PG - 13
G
R/18

Sometimes to bypass word filters, people ask for these types of things in a roleplay by using the following.

Romance - Roman ants, Ro-to-the-mance
Violence - Violet lent, Viola lance

Don't ask. S:

Contacts - This is the umberella term used for your email address, instant messaging names etc. Or, in other words 'how you can be contacted if the person wants to roleplay with you'. Again to bypass word filters on some sites which don't allow offsite advertising, people use the following;

Email - Liam E, Fast mail, the other mail, non-letter mail, Mr Liam E
AIM - yellow running man, any mnemonic which uses the words A, I, M in that order
MSN - little butterfly, any mnemonic which uses the words M, S, N in that order
YIM - ... actually this might be the yellow running man. D: I can't remember. I don't use AIM or YIM to roleplay.

everyone has their preference when roleplaying - some people refuse to roleplay 'over' msn. Personally, I like roleplaying on a forum, or over email but that's personal taste.

"//" /Slash/mm, ff/Yaoi, Yuri - same sex relationship roleplays. Nuff said. // is used to bypass word filters, mm means male male, ff means female female. Sometimes also written m x m - literally male times male. Yaoi or Yuri are japanese terms used in anime, but have also shifted into roleplaying slang. This is often discussed in roleplay because people aren't into doing that kind of thing. Kind of like me :D

"Do you do //?"
"No, I 'support it' but I don't do it."

That's right guys, if you don't want to be branded as a homophobe, you have to 'support it' otherwise you're evil.

The word Slash comes from literally 'slashing two characters together'. I.e Bill/Bob would mean that Bill is indeed, romantically involved with Bob. The order that you put said characters in is also very important, never -ever- put the least dominant first, that would mean they were 'topping' in the relationship. Haha, endless amusement when I discovered this I can tell you - slash roleplayers are so fun to talk with. :D

*action* /-action- - sometimes in roleplay ooc, people make their characters do humorous activities. These actions are always denoted with stars, or little dashes around the words. These actions are always in the present tense. Usually, the name of the character is not included within said action, because people assume that your character is the one you are referring to. Sometimes, the name of your character is included before you write the action. I think the use of stars comes from old MIRC or IRC forums... I'm not sure - I have a vague memory of having to use that syntax to do an action...

*jumps up and down like a spaz*

Sometimes

Barbara: *Jumps up and down like a spaz*

I think that just about sums up all the terms roleplayers use on a regular basis. There might be more newer ones, but these are the terms which have been around for ages and you pick up while you learn. There are many nuances involved in roleplay and out, but on the whole those should just about cover it. It's hard to realise when you're using roleplay slang and when you're not :D so I might have missed something out.